flamekthunder: (ϟ 065)
Eustace ([personal profile] flamekthunder) wrote in [community profile] dreamcrystals2022-07-21 08:50 pm

fifth entry ⊗ first dream: only in a dream

Sender: Eustace
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death makes for a sad ending to an otherwise happy dream (no violent acts but there is a lot of heavy grief)
Notes: A dream depicting glimpses of a lone wolf at various stages of his life and eventually forming his own family until...


It begins with a vast snowy white landscape, so empty and barren save for a few bundles of trees that appear here and there. Atop a barren cliff lays a lone silver gray wolf, its right eye slightly scarred at its brow as if it had been burned, but it's subtle, just barely noticeable under the tufts of fur. As the wolf slowly opens its eyes, the right eye is a little duller compared to the bright blue of the left. But it can see just as well and it tracks the sudden movement below—of other wolves crossing the snowy plains, a few of them playing around and running freely with each other. It seems warmer down there, welcoming...yet the lone wolf remains at his perch, turning his head away as ice forms around him.

Time passes and what was once a barren snowscape has changed, pockets of grass and more trees poking through the snow. The wolf is now on the ground watching the others play around, but while he keeps his distance every so often one approaches to shove its head against his side, as if pushing the wolf to the group. The wolf grumbles, pinning his ears and baring his fangs...but he never attacks. Instead two smaller ones appear, one with blue tinted fur and another and orange red, and it's with their help that the lone wolf moves and is brought into the fold. There other wolves run out to greet him, each with their own distinct markings. The lone wolf still doesn't really participate, but he stays within the group, watching...and slowly his tail sways from one side to the other.

Like stop motion the trees grow, the grass spreads, and the number of wolves grow. The once lone wolf still doesn't really participate with their antics, but he appears calmer and more relaxed. He mostly stays on the edge, but he wanders through to be with the others, even letting the younger ones "tussle" with him. The cliff he once inhabited has turned into a mossy green and he hasn't returned to it in a long while. But when he looks out, there's a new wolf beyond the pack—black, female, with deep red eyes. He's wary at first, but she's welcomed into the fold like everyone else who has come through. When she passes by him, his eyes follow her, the scent of flowers lingering.

Once more time passes and the scenes pass quickly, all focused on the black wolf. Of her bothering the gray wolf and sticking to his side. Of her crying and he comforting her. Of him chasing and cornering her. Of quiet moments of them together. With each one, more snow disappears and the feeling of spring grows with the warm atmosphere, and his voice whispers in the breeze as each snapshot passes through.

Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else.

Tifa Lockhart.

The two wolves race through the snow, a black and silver blur leaving flowers in their wake.
Will you marry me?

Around their necks are matching necklaces: a metal dog tag and glowing charm, the moon on the black wolf and a star on the gray. They continue into the forest of trees, through a flower field bursting with colors—the sunlight dancing over them as petals swirl around them as the two wolves continue to frolic and play with each other, the remaining ice that had once surrounded the gray wolf completely melted away. Eventually they stop to rest against each other, and as he looks over at his mate, his blue eyes shine in a way they never have before. Soft, gentle, completely in love. Slowly they close, wrapped up in that beautiful bliss...

...And when they open, he finds himself staring at two small pairs of eyes, one red, one blue, their coats a darker gray. The pups' tails wag eagerly in the air as they bark.
Dad!
Yay he's awake!
Play with us!

At first he's confused—
Dad?

Who's dad?? But he hears the soft laugh and as he's shoved over onto the side by the pups, he looks over to see the black wolf sitting nearby with a smile, her red eyes shining in delight. Understanding crashes into him like a tidal wave, and while something in the back of his mind tries to warn him, there's a burst of light, the ground overflowing with flowers as he laughs and plays with the pups. His pups.

His family.

Things go by in a blur. Spending lazy days together, meeting and venturing with the original pack. It seems as if it all could end peacefully like this. ...But then there's a low rumble overhead, dark shadows overtaking the once sunny area. As lightning cracks high overhead as if to shatter the once picturesque sky, the pups whine and hide beneath his legs. It's just a storm and yet there's a chill in the air that causes every single hair to stand on end. One that makes them run, run before the darkness engulfs them, run to their home where they would be safe. But—
Where is she?

—the thought blares through his mind as they dash into the cave and everything goes dark.


Rain falls. It beats on the gray wolf who sits with his head hung low, his once vibrant blue eyes dull and lifeless, tears now ice frozen on his fur. In fact there's no color at all—it's all white, gray, and black. In front of him is the black wolf lying on her side, eyes closed. A dark pool spreads beneath her lifeless body, flecks of red breaking through the monochrome. Her necklace lies in shattered pieces, the beautiful glowing moon crushed, dull. Beside him the pups whine and try to move him, but he doesn't budge. He can't. The weight of loss chains him down—

I failed.
I failed to protect her...

I killed her.

Slowly he falls forward, his head landing lightly just above hers. As the rain turns to the snow, ice crackles and forms around him. At first he still hears the pups, but when he slowly cranes his neck he can see them fade away, disappearing into the ether. Because they were never real to begin with.

They never can be real, a dark voice whispers as the snow continues to slowly bury him. None of this is.

No longer is he a wolf, but Eustace cradling Tifa's lifeless body as it slowly disappears, the snow and ice almost completely covering him as the voice becomes heavier and more oppressive as it continues.

When you wake up, you will forget it all like you did before. When she wakes up she will leave you for another.

A dream. This is all just a dream.

All it ever will be.


[It's there that the dream will cut off as Eustace jolts awake.

Note: there will be some delay before Eustace responds but he'll at least be of...somewhat calm mind if a bit more reticent and giving shorter, curt answers. ]
disdelusioned: (diluc076)

sender: Diluc

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-07-24 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Diluc stares at his darkened lantern for several minutes after the dream cuts off, feeling as if he's been punched in the stomach. While he can't relate to the dream's specifics--they're Eustace's details, not his--that last, harrowing message is all too real to him. Thoma's gone. Ori could leave at any moment. It seems that he's not the only person struggling with that fear.

He rises from his bed, careful not to rouse Ori, and moves to his office. He knows he isn't going to be sleeping any more tonight.

- - -

Several hours later, long after the sun has risen, he reaches out:]


I'd like to speak with you in person, when you have the opportunity.
Edited (forgot the subject line! and also there was a typo I promise this is the last time I edit this jkdfaljdsfk) 2022-07-24 20:54 (UTC)
disdelusioned: (diluc039)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-07-28 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Tomorrow is fine. There's no rush.

[Surely, there are people he'd much rather talk this over with than him.]

Let me know when and where you'd like to meet, and I'll be there.]
disdelusioned: (diluc120)

TIMESKIP

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-03 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
[It actually ends up being a few days before Diluc actually makes contact with Eustace. This time, it's in person, almost in passing as they happen to be in the same part of the city.]

How are you holding up?
disdelusioned: (diluc112)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-10 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[Diluc wasn't actively putting this off, either. It just hasn't been an urgent priority, all told, and he suspects Eustace feels similarly. The response he receives to his question only cements that assumption.]

I don't doubt that it's something you've already worked through. I have no intentions of dredging things back up with empty platitudes.

["Everything will be fine somehow" is a waste of both their time, in his opinion.]

But seeing as we're in similar situations, I thought it might be worth getting your thoughts on what it is I hope to do. I need a clear, unbiased opinion to make sure I'm not chasing shadows.
disdelusioned: (diluc134)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-14 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
[Diluc's attitude toward Eustace is entirely neutral (despite the emotionally charged nature of their first meeting--that was the dreamscape's fault). They have their respective relationships with Ori, but that's really the only connection they have.

Which is part of the reason he's interested in Eustace's thoughts, to be frank. There's no relationship to preserve with pulling punches. That he intimately understands the problem helps, too.]


I've been doing a lot of thinking about this Story Eater creature. Particularly, how it seems capable of moving between worlds and dreams with relative ease.

[His information is second-hand, of course, but people in the journals seem to be in agreement on that detail at least.]

It has to have a method of doing so. I mean to try and find out what it is.
Edited (I repeated a word and it was terrible :c) 2022-08-14 06:32 (UTC)
disdelusioned: (diluc046)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-18 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[Potential step one: ascend to godhood. It's technically possible, at least back in Teyvat. Vision holders are capable of it--Mondstadt in particular has a great deal of local history and lore regarding just that.

Whether it's preferable is another story...

Diluc accepts what Eustace has to say dispassionately, nodding slightly to acknowledge that he's taking it into consideration.]


I'm aware that it's reckless. And bordering on impossible.

But I refuse to simply sit back and do nothing while waiting for the inevitable end of this dream. I've... gained too much here.

[And he's already lost part of it, which still stings far more than he'd like to admit.]
disdelusioned: (diluc119)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-22 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[Madness or not, he's not afraid of the course he's setting for himself here. Diluc is nothing if not determined, often to his own detriment. He'll find a way to see this through somehow.

He considered Eustace's words with a slow nod. There's merit to the idea, and he has to admit that he's thought vague of the same. Were Thoma still here, that would certainly be the better option. But he isn't. Shy of also figuring out how dreamers wake up here in the first place and somehow bringing specific persons to Songerein, it's only a half-complete idea as far as Diluc is concerned. And he can easily imagine ways in which that knowledge could be abused to drag people here against their will to nefarious ends.

(The knowledge of traveling between worlds is also dangerous, of course, but he feels like that's a secret he can keep closer to his chest.)

Still, it's worth investigating. He'd be remiss not to look at every available angle.]


I'll look into that as well. Thank you.

[He pauses thoughtfully, then adds:]

How much do you think the tapirs know?
disdelusioned: (diluc134)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-25 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I understand. And I will.

[It was never Diluc's intention to burden Eustace with the work of his admittedly wild idea. He wanted feedback, and he's received it. And maybe... a part of him also wants Eustace to know that he's not alone in this fear, and that he's working on it. But that's something he'll never admit to even himself, let alone the other man.]

I can't blame them for not wanting dangerous information getting out. I'll see what I can learn from them, if anything.

[He's not above torture, on principle, although he may draw the line at torturing creatures that have largely been kind towards the residents...]
Edited (how do I html) 2022-08-25 23:03 (UTC)
disdelusioned: (diluc005)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-08-30 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Once I have the proper intelligence and a promising lead.

[So, no.]

I don't want to get her hopes up until I have something plausibly actionable.
disdelusioned: (diluc006)

[personal profile] disdelusioned 2022-09-06 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
... I'll keep that in mind.

[Eustace's words may or may not cause Diluc to alter his intended course of action, but he does have every intention of considering them as he continues his research. After all, keeping secrets has nearly caused him to go noctaere once already...]

I won't keep you. I appreciate your listening and input.