☁ cloud strife (
spikyheaded) wrote in
dreamcrystals2023-05-07 02:21 pm
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Entry tags:
001 ☁ passive dream
Sender: Cloud Strife
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death, human experimentation, deteriorating mental state
[ooc: Accompaniment music, if you so choose.]
Cloud wakes, the shirt he wears damp in a cold sweat. His breath is uneven and he cradles his head between his hands, his head throbbing in the worst headache he's had in a while.
"What the hell was that…?"
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death, human experimentation, deteriorating mental state
[ooc: Accompaniment music, if you so choose.]
Darkness surrounds you, as a dull pain throbs at the back of your skull. It pulsates over and over, and you can't help but squeeze your eyes shut even further. You're thankful for the silence, certain that noise would only further aggravate the pain
But that relief is short-lived as the quiet is quickly broken by screams of one, two—no, at least a dozen voices. Your eyes finally snap open.
The village is on fire, blistering as the smoke grows from the structures surrounding you where you stand. Before you stands a small, single-story home. You recognize it as your childhood home just as a sickening noise pierces through the air, accompanied by the shrill, terrified scream of a female voice within. The building lurches as a beam falls, sending smoke and cinders out the door. You take a step forward, but you can't bring yourself to know the truth.
From the corner of your eye, you see a glint of silver between the licks of fire. A single word falls from your lips. A name.
"Sephiroth."
Your legs begin moving before you take off toward where you need to go.---
The adrenaline travels within you as you blink the sweat out of your eyes, trying to catch your breath. Sephiroth stands before you, muttering under his breath that she—that Jenova—is the true ruler of the Planet.
You unsheath your blade, large and unwieldy, grasping the hilt tightly in your hands. Though your arm shakes in despair, in anger, in mourning, your will and thirst for revenge is unwavering.
All you can see is Sephiroth, your gaze meeting his piercing green eyes, as your body moves by its own will with the intent of cutting the man down.
The world around you is silent and darkness takes you.---
The light is blinding and you find yourself unable to fully open your eyes as you are left in a daze. The world swims around you.
But you feel it, the pain from your sides and cold metal against your back. A shiver makes its way down your spine.
There's a prick on the inside of your elbow and you move your arm, only for it to be held down against the cold surface beneath you.
You hear a mumble, a conversation between two people, but you are too out of it, unable to make out the words.
Then you feel something press against your skin, sharp as it begins to cut you open. Your mouth opens, letting out a scream before you pass out.---
You wake and you find yourself surrounded in a sea of green.
Reaching out does nothing, and for a long time, there is nothingness.
Finally, you feel something solid, your fingertips padding against it yet somehow you only see more of the same. Suddenly a pair of eyes snap open and you withdraw your hand in shock.
The eyes continue to stare directly at you, its green irises piercing and menacing, a sickening glow surrounding its cat-like pupils pulsating. It doesn't come to you at first, at least not immediately, but as you stare back you feel your mouth go bone-dry.
Bone-chilling screams, the crackling of wood and fire, the bodies falling onto the ground. The memories come back to you in an instant. You let out a scream but no sound is heard. Instead, bubbles burst from your mouth, clouding your vision as you thrash within the green liquid surrounding you.
You gasp and the liquid fills your lungs. With arms and legs flailing, you twist and turn, trying to find some kind of escape to no avail. Whispers of those who perished claw at the edges of your mind. They take hold, their grips cold and vice-like. You know in your heart they have no intention of letting go.
All the while, those cat-like, green eyes stare back at you, mockingly reminding you of your failure.
You are trapped.
Drowning.
Helpless.
The only thing that accompanies you are the bubbles reminding you of your futile attempts and the sound of Sephiroth's maniacal laughter in your ears.
The world begins to fade, as darkness swallows you once more.
Cloud wakes, the shirt he wears damp in a cold sweat. His breath is uneven and he cradles his head between his hands, his head throbbing in the worst headache he's had in a while.
"What the hell was that…?"
meanwhile, a week old reply
It isn't lost to him that Tifa was the sole reminder he had of their hometown before it was razed to the ground. But having to relive that, even though unconscious, even through a nightmare felt unfair. He didn't want her to relive that pain all over again. But it was clearly too late for what-ifs now.
After a minute or two, he begins writing his reply back to her.]
Sure. What's up?
unbelievable
Tifa's response is almost immediate, before he's even finished.]
Not through here. Let's meet somewhere?
[There are too many people who could be reading this, and more than that, this is not a conversation to be had over the journals...]
How about the café?
> action
I'll be right over.
[With that, he closes the journal and begins making his way to the café. It's not lost to him how it was the second time he finds himself heading there in a handful of days, especially after he'd been avoiding Tifa for so long. But he wanted to get to a place where he didn't feel as awkward around her anymore, and he knew running away wasn't the answer either.
Once he makes it to the door he knocks against it, just loud enough that it's heard by the occupants and not their neighbors.]
Tifa? It's Cloud.
no subject
Come in.
[There's a light tremble to her voice, hardly masked by the steeliness of it, and her smile turns crooked immediately as she locks the door behind them and leads him back to the bar counter.]
... Do you want anything to drink?
[Regardless of what his answer is, she's already slipping behind it.]
no subject
But he doesn't bring any attention to it, not yet, as he followed her toward the bar. Slowly, he sat down on one of the stools.]
Think I can get me the same thing you made back home?
[The Cosmo Canyon, was it? Shiva knows he's going to need it after that dream and for whatever may come next.]
no subject
The Cosmo Canyon?
[Looking around behind the counter, she makes a pensive face, and her hands find her hips.]
I'm sure I could replicate it. I'm thinking our newer special might be a little on the sweet side for you?
[Already, Tifa is gathering up whatever supplies she has that could recreate the drink. One, two, three, (insert ingredients here)... Into a shaker they all go for a good shake before she's pouring it into a glass and sliding it across to him.]
Give it a try.
no subject
Just as good as I remember.
[He's able to offer Tifa the barest of smiles before it disappears. Nursing the glass between his hands, he figures there's no other way to stall whatever it was now.]
So... You wanted to talk?
no subject
Still, Tifa tries to mask her surprise as best as she can. The last time she'd asked to talk to him about things, about what happened after he left Nibelheim, and every time after that, Cloud had closed himself off. She learned not to ask anymore, or if she did, she would be more careful about it. It was clear to her that there was more to it than he was letting on, but how it would all come to light...
...
She just never imagined it would be like this. Here. In another world so far away from their own.
And all because of a dream.
Speaking of that...
She doesn't answer him at first. All he gets is a small, almost sheepish smile from her before she's pouring herself her own drink—just a small glass of water that she brings with her around to the same side of the bar as him.
... Where she takes a seat on a stool one down from his, leaving that space between them.]
I did...
[Now that she's finally here, she doesn't even know how to begin. Or where.]
I... um, saw that dream of yours.
no subject
This time, it's his turn to fall into silence, looking at Tifa for a long moment, before he stares into the glass of alcohol in his hand.]
Really wish you hadn't.
[To say that night was traumatizing felt like an understatement. It wasn't the first time he had to relive that in his mind, in his dreams, but to have someone else relive that? To have Tifa have to see Nibelheim being razed to the ground once again? He can't help but feel guilty, even if it wasn't something he could control himself.]
no subject
Yeah... It happens a lot around here.
[Seeing other people's dreams. She's fortunate enough that none of hers have been broadcast for the whole town to see in their lanterns, and usually, on the occasions when she does see them, she prefers to keep her nose out of other people's business, but...
This isn't just anyone because in a way, this is her memory, too.
Even if things still don't add up. Which is another reason they're here to talk. Though how to approach that, she has no idea. Not with how Cloud has been acting since they met again...]
How did you know all that happened?
[There is only one explanation for it, and Zack has already told her, but... she wants to hear what Cloud has to say.]
no subject
How do I know?
[Bringing the glass back to the bar, Cloud turns to face Tifa. A crease forms on his forehead and between his brows, his mouth turned down in a frown.]
Tifa, I was there.
[They had seen each other then, when she led them up Mount Nibel to the reactor. Did she not remember? Had everything been so traumatizing that she couldn't remember them meeting back then?]
no subject
Zack had confirmed it all, explained to her that Cloud had been there, but... there's so much that still doesn't add up, and it doesn't help that Tifa's own memories of the incident are foggy at best with so many holes, and all of this only pokes more. Everything she knew, or everything she thought she knew is crumbling right out from under her feet.
She wants to turn to him, look him straight in the eyes and deny it, but... as soon as she does, her throat suddenly runs dry, and the words get caught in her throat, and she needs to take another drink.]
... What exactly do you remember?
[Because now she's not sure if she's remembering things the way she thought she did.]
😬
He returns to nursing the glass between his hands, focusing on the liquid within as the memory comes to the forefront of his mind.]
We had gone to Nibelheim to check around the reactor on Mt. Nibel. It was just me, Sephiroth, and a few others.
[It was supposed to be a routine check. Monster activity in the area had gone up and they were sent to investigate if there had been anything strange going on at the reactor.]
You were our tour guide back then. I was surprised to see that it was you. [A scoff leaves his lips as he shook his head.] I didn't want you to go with us at first.
😬😬😬
...
Tifa's brow furrows further at that. No mention of Zack? She thought that was a pretty important detail, especially considering the friendship that they seemed to forge with one another, but does he not remember him being there? Or maybe it was Zack who was misremembering?
She brings her head forward and rests it on her hand, and she takes another moment to work out how to get through this conversation. She doesn't want to bring about another one of those terrifying episodes of his, but she wants to know exactly what he thought happened back then. So, more vague questions it is.]
Just you and Sephiroth? Who were the others?
no subject
A part of him wonders whether he should've made more of an effort back then.]
A couple of Shinra infantrymen. Can't say I really knew them.
no subject
She feels her stomach twist further with dread, tighter, and she swallows back another sip of her drink to wash down the feeling.]
And it was you who went into the reactor, was it? [A pause, and she finally looks to him again.] ... Sorry. My memory's still a bit... foggy.
no subject
[She had wanted to see the inside herself but he was just following orders back then. He meets her gaze when she looks at him, pursing his lips for a moment.]
You sure you want to keep talking about all this?
no subject
[Though, her heart is telling her otherwise. Telling her to protect herself from the confusion that she knows that this will bring, and even the hurt that might come out of it later. She shouldn't be lying to Cloud about it... Tifa remembers most of it quite well, up until the fires, but if she tells him that now, then what's going to happen to him? Another headache?
Those words that President Shinra had said back in mako reactor five aren't completely lost on her, nor has she forgotten what he'd said about SOLDIERs...
For now, she's going to play along and try not to look quite as confused.]
I never did hear about what happened in there... Inside the reactor, I mean.
no subject
It felt odd recounting everything to her like this. But maybe if he kept it up, he'd figure out what happened then too... After a point, his memory seemed to blur. But even he knew that he couldn't rely on her. Not when she was in the state he had found her in the reactor.
But he's getting ahead of himself. ]
We found and dealt with the malfunction inside. At least that was to be expected. What caused it though...
[Bringing the drink up to his lips, he takes a long, drawn-out sip of the alcohol. Bringing the cup back down, he continues.]
We found a couple of Hojo's experiments. Humans that had been exposed to mako for longer than anyone should've been. I guess that's what caused Sephiroth to spiral.
[He remembered him spouting things about feeling different from others back then.]
no subject
No, it's not even possible.
She knows that her memories of that day are fuzzy, she knows that there are so many holes and pieces missing, but she wouldn't misremember a detail as specific as that. No, she remembers being upset that she couldn't follow them inside, and then the infantryman who had been injured that she helped back...
Something clicks in Tifa's head, the gears slowly turning, but she keeps the thought to herself...]
I see...
[She feels terrible for this... terrible for doubting him and fishing for more information and forcing him to relive that night, for wanting to run to Zack to ask him if all of this is true.]
Sephiroth disappeared after that for a while, didn't he...? It was... five years, you said? What happened with him? In that reactor, I mean...
no subject
This time he downs what remained of his drink, but it still takes him a while before he continues.]
I got to the reactor after he'd razed the village. [A pause, his voice quiet but steady.] You were there. Sephiroth struck you down too, and for a minute I thought you were a goner. But you were still breathing when I got to you. So I brought you aside before going after Sephiroth.
[He can't look her in the eye. He wishes he could've done more for her back then.]
I confronted Sephiroth deeper inside and...
[And things are a blur from that point. He can't remember anything else past that. Cloud tries to wrack his brain for more but comes up empty. Eventually he shakes his head.]
That's all I've got.
no subject
And as he talks about Sephiroth, Tifa still can't help but think of everything he'd said before that...
A sad smile crosses her face, though never once making it to her eyes as she turns her gaze to him.]
... You did?
[She wants to believe it. She wants to believe that this is the truth so, so much, because it would mean that he had never forgotten about their promise.
But then, that would also mean...]
Cloud, I'm... sorry...
no subject
However, his thoughts were interrupted when Tifa apologizes. Hearing that takes him by surprise and it shows on his face.]
Sorry? For what?
[Was it because she asked him to recall all this? He could've stopped at any time if he wanted to. She had nothing to be sorry about.]
no subject
Sorry for doubting him, and still doubting him. Sorry for sitting here and questioning everything he's telling her. Sorry for talking to Zack about it without telling him. Sorry for... so, so many things. For not being able to answer the questions herself, and the ones that she knows he might have, too.
Her shoulders rise and fall in a sigh, and after a few more seconds of eyeing him with an apologetic smile, she drops her gaze back to her glass.]
... I didn't know.
no subject
He still didn't understand what she was telling him. Or why she felt the need to say sorry. Was there something that he was missing? For a moment, he thinks to ask, holding up a hand to place on her shoulder, but he stops himself.
Maybe it isn't worth asking. Having to rehash that night again would be a bad idea, traumatizing as it was.
So he pulls his hand back and looks across the bar instead.]
I don't blame you. A lot happened that night.
(no subject)