☁ cloud strife (
spikyheaded) wrote in
dreamcrystals2023-05-07 02:21 pm
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Entry tags:
001 ☁ passive dream
Sender: Cloud Strife
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death, human experimentation, deteriorating mental state
[ooc: Accompaniment music, if you so choose.]
Cloud wakes, the shirt he wears damp in a cold sweat. His breath is uneven and he cradles his head between his hands, his head throbbing in the worst headache he's had in a while.
"What the hell was that…?"
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death, human experimentation, deteriorating mental state
[ooc: Accompaniment music, if you so choose.]
Darkness surrounds you, as a dull pain throbs at the back of your skull. It pulsates over and over, and you can't help but squeeze your eyes shut even further. You're thankful for the silence, certain that noise would only further aggravate the pain
But that relief is short-lived as the quiet is quickly broken by screams of one, two—no, at least a dozen voices. Your eyes finally snap open.
The village is on fire, blistering as the smoke grows from the structures surrounding you where you stand. Before you stands a small, single-story home. You recognize it as your childhood home just as a sickening noise pierces through the air, accompanied by the shrill, terrified scream of a female voice within. The building lurches as a beam falls, sending smoke and cinders out the door. You take a step forward, but you can't bring yourself to know the truth.
From the corner of your eye, you see a glint of silver between the licks of fire. A single word falls from your lips. A name.
"Sephiroth."
Your legs begin moving before you take off toward where you need to go.---
The adrenaline travels within you as you blink the sweat out of your eyes, trying to catch your breath. Sephiroth stands before you, muttering under his breath that she—that Jenova—is the true ruler of the Planet.
You unsheath your blade, large and unwieldy, grasping the hilt tightly in your hands. Though your arm shakes in despair, in anger, in mourning, your will and thirst for revenge is unwavering.
All you can see is Sephiroth, your gaze meeting his piercing green eyes, as your body moves by its own will with the intent of cutting the man down.
The world around you is silent and darkness takes you.---
The light is blinding and you find yourself unable to fully open your eyes as you are left in a daze. The world swims around you.
But you feel it, the pain from your sides and cold metal against your back. A shiver makes its way down your spine.
There's a prick on the inside of your elbow and you move your arm, only for it to be held down against the cold surface beneath you.
You hear a mumble, a conversation between two people, but you are too out of it, unable to make out the words.
Then you feel something press against your skin, sharp as it begins to cut you open. Your mouth opens, letting out a scream before you pass out.---
You wake and you find yourself surrounded in a sea of green.
Reaching out does nothing, and for a long time, there is nothingness.
Finally, you feel something solid, your fingertips padding against it yet somehow you only see more of the same. Suddenly a pair of eyes snap open and you withdraw your hand in shock.
The eyes continue to stare directly at you, its green irises piercing and menacing, a sickening glow surrounding its cat-like pupils pulsating. It doesn't come to you at first, at least not immediately, but as you stare back you feel your mouth go bone-dry.
Bone-chilling screams, the crackling of wood and fire, the bodies falling onto the ground. The memories come back to you in an instant. You let out a scream but no sound is heard. Instead, bubbles burst from your mouth, clouding your vision as you thrash within the green liquid surrounding you.
You gasp and the liquid fills your lungs. With arms and legs flailing, you twist and turn, trying to find some kind of escape to no avail. Whispers of those who perished claw at the edges of your mind. They take hold, their grips cold and vice-like. You know in your heart they have no intention of letting go.
All the while, those cat-like, green eyes stare back at you, mockingly reminding you of your failure.
You are trapped.
Drowning.
Helpless.
The only thing that accompanies you are the bubbles reminding you of your futile attempts and the sound of Sephiroth's maniacal laughter in your ears.
The world begins to fade, as darkness swallows you once more.
Cloud wakes, the shirt he wears damp in a cold sweat. His breath is uneven and he cradles his head between his hands, his head throbbing in the worst headache he's had in a while.
"What the hell was that…?"
> action
Wait. Was it... Cloud?
He was going to wait until the morning- wait until he could bring it up in casual conversation and ask Cloud how he was doing or how he slept, but something in the back of his mind pushed his thoughts and legs forward as he threw them over the bed and onto the floor. Hesitantly he reaches for the crystal before taking it in his hands and peering into it for just a moment...
... Maybe he really shouldn't have looked, after all. Every scene was gut-wrenching. Every moment seeing his experiences through Cloud's eyes made his stomach turn and finding the air in the room had all been sucked away. Zack could feel the familiar sensations in his arms. The feeling of cold and liquid and heat.
He could hear it, too. Through his keen sense of awareness gifted to him as a SOLDIER, there were noises coming from the other room that seemed different from most nights.
It wasn't unlike the two of them to have nightmares, whether it was here or back home. Zack could recall many nights where he sat awake, watching Cloud flinch and squirm under the weight of his past transgressions and wishing he could do something to stop the thoughts from reoccurring. He could remember the feeling of hopelessness in those quiet hours. Trying to be a hand to settle the nerves. Wishing things had never ended up like this.
It was with those thoughts that instinctively drew Zack away from the crystal, no longer wishing to pry into those memories that were still so raw and real, and making his way to the kitchen for a glass of water for Cloud. He never knew if this was enough, but just like the many times in their past, he was going to help him get through this.
The noises from the other room alerted him to quicken his pace and in a few short moments of gathering the water he was in front of the other man's room. However... something caused him to hesitate as a hand drew up to the door. To Cloud, Zack was just an acquaintance at best. Would he find it weird that he was showing this much concern? Would it seem suspicious? Would Cloud try to distance himself further if he knew—
—a groan from the other side of the door all but dismissed his thoughts as Zack grabbed for the doorknob to open it... only to find out that it was locked. ]
Cloud!? [ He called, voice full of urgency. He gave it only a few moments, just enough to listen to the sounds beyond it, before realizing that this wasn't like most nights. Something about this dream had been worse and he needed to be in here to help. He had to protect Cloud, he—
There was no use asking permission to enter, not when he was in his state, and Zack would rather ask for forgiveness later than do nothing at all. So with a grunt the man will lift one leg up and ram against the door, pieces of wood crumbling under the weight of his blow like it was made of paper. The door all but hung loosely by its damaged hinges, and Zack was able to easily pass his way through it and into the room to search for Cloud. ]
Cloud!! [ He called again when eyes panicked upon realizing that the other man was no longer on his bed, but on the floor facing away from him.
In his shock the glass that was in his hands had slipped out and crashed onto the floor, leaving a ruined pile at the doorway before he moved through it to kneel down at the ground beside Cloud. ]
Hang in there! It's alright, I'm— [ I'm right here.
He reaches down to put a strong hand on Cloud's arm. It was happening again... those headaches... ]
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Then the headaches follow, sharp and piercing. Though he had grown accustomed to them, this pain was unlike any that he had felt in the past. But why? Why here? Why now? What had even triggered it? This had been the first one in a long while and Cloud could not place what had brought it on.
With the pain so fierce, he doesn't hear the pounding against his bedroom door, nor the sound of Zack breaking it down and the shatter of glass that follows. The pain had fully taken over, that he doesn't realize that Zack had made it by his side.
Cloud suddenly feels a weight on his arm. His first instinct is to push it off, swatting it away as he scrambles backward, only to find his back pressed against the bedframe. What the hell was that?
Slowly, his eyes begin to focus in the dark as he pants, his breath still panicked and uneven. In front of him was Zack, on his knees, hand hovering in the air.]
Zack? [It comes out as a choked sound, the distress still evident in the tone of his voice. Though his eyes are wide initially, he slowly starts to calm.] What just happened?
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The room itself was mostly dark, yet the dim light that showed through the window caught glimpses of his face as he staggered back into the bed. The look of confusion, of fear, of how scared and hopeless and small he looked.
Zack didn't allow his face to falter. He kept his jaw clenched, moving that hovering hand to the closest thing that he could reach which fell upon the boy's leg. He didn't squeeze it, mainly keeping his hand there for support. To ground Cloud back into reality. ]
Bad dream, from the looks of it. [ He kept his voice low, doing his best to conceal the worry from the cracks in his throat. He doesn't want to admit he saw most of the dream. That was a conversation for later. ] Just a dream...
[ The SOLDIER finally gives one reassuring squeeze as he pulls it back, hand still prickling from Cloud pushing him away. It didn't hurt, but the roughness and reaction pained him more than any hit could. ]
Here. [ There's a small break from the silence as Zack picks himself up from his kneeling position to stand and move to Cloud's side. ] Let's get you up from the ground.
[ He hovers above him momentarily, extending that same arm to help. Zack'll give him the opportunity to try and lift himself, but if he can't he's more than willing to assist. ]
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Then he feels the weight of Zack's hand on his leg. He doesn't understand why, but it helps somehow. Not with the pain but in trying to catch his breath, in reminding himself that it was just a bad dream like Zack said. And, strangely, it does seem to do the trick. After a few deep breaths, his mind clears, at least enough for him to take in his surroundings and recall that he was in their apartment in Reverein.
With a heavy sigh, Cloud throws his head back against the mattress.]
That was some dream.
[Cloud watches as Zack gets back on his feet, extending his hand to him, another offer to help. He doesn't take it as he attempts to get back onto his feet and back on the bed. One of his legs gives out on him under him and he reaches out to grab onto Zack's hand to regain his balance. His grip is tight as he makes it the rest of the way, nodding a quiet thanks but not looking his roommate in the eye.
He hates this feeling. This helplessness.]
Was it that bad? [He asks after another moment of silence, voice low, elbows on his knees, his hands clutched together. While he's had his own share of nightmares, there's never been one that he's found Zack at his side afterward before.]
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Which is why it was probably so easy the catch Cloud the moment he stumbled, his sense of panic already heightened from seeing his friend in such a sorry disposition. He'll easily assist the other onto the bed and remain standing for a moment to attempt to shake off his nerves. ]
You did end up on the floor... [ He grimaces before folding his arms to survey the space Cloud had fallen, then unto the man himself to see if he could spot any injuries on the surface level.
He didn't want to admit at first that he had looked into the dream and saw the things he did. He didn't want to relive those moments, as vividly as he remembered them. It was painful and the tightness in his chest was all too evident of that. ]
Turns out this place decided everyone needed to see it, too. So don't be surprised if you get some of those journal messages tonight.
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But it had subsided for now, allowing him to let out a long, drawn-out breath.
Then, he scoffs:] Figures. Guess leaving me alone would be asking for too much of this place.
[He still hasn't let go of that whole dress fiasco when he first got here. In fact, he should get rid of that dress sooner rather than later.]
I don't even know what that dream was about. [He shakes his head, waving his hand in the air. The first part was hard to forget... But the latter half after he encountered Sephiroth? All that meant nothing to him.] Must be my subconscious playing tricks on me.
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Perhaps the headaches were a way to keep away those memories from resurfacing.... to block out all the pain he endured for so long. The scientists were especially interested in Cloud, given his positive reaction to the cells.
The hopelessness he felt at the time was unmeasurable, and even now... ]
Minds are funny like that, huh? Come up with the strangest stuff. [ He finally chokes out- a sort of half-spat, half sigh as he turns away from the blonde, staring hard at the ground.
He couldn't bring it up. He couldn't tell him that he was right there the whole time. ]
But hey- it was just a nightmare, right? You're not actually hurt, are you?
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Staring at Zack's back for a long moment, he shakes his head, not even bothering to check himself for any cuts or bruises. While there is a dull ache from when he banged his elbow against the bed frame, it wasn't enough to make a big deal about it. At worse, it may bruise slightly in the morning.]
I'm fine. [The headache seems to have passed after all.] The worst of it will be dealing with whoever's nosy enough to ask about it.
[Suddenly, he lets out a surprised noise, brows knitting together as he stared at the back of Zack's head.]
Wait. How did you get in here in the first place?
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Soooo... about that. [ he turns back to the blonde slowly with a nervous gesture of his hand deep in his locks of hair. ]
Your door... it was locked, y'know? [ HE LOOKS INSTANTLY REGRETFUL ] And it sounded like you were in a lot of pain—
[ Moving his eyes to the door he frowns. Ah, and there was the glass of water, too.... ]
—I'll fix it, I swear.
1/3 I think
[With a furrowed brow, Cloud turns to follow Zack's own gaze to see...]
2/3
yes 3/3
As if his brow couldn't get any deeper, Cloud somehow manages it as he turns to look back at Zack, crossing his arms tightly against his chest.]
Was that really necessary?
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[ Oh no those puppy dog eyes are coming out ]
... Probably.
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It was just a headache. I would've managed.
[That's what he had been doing even before he got here. He just needed them to pass eventually. This one though... it definitely hit harder than what he was used to.]
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[ He attempted to justify despite the obvious embarrassment.
Also just. Kicking a piece of wood that had shattered towards the middle of the room back towards the entrance. He's cleaning. Slowly. ]
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He looks over to Zack once more, turning in his seat on the mattress toward him and the wreckage where his bedroom door once stood. For someone so tall, it was hard to believe that he looked like a puppy who had been left out in the rain.
As much as he appreciated the clear concern for his well-being, as evidenced by the mess on the floor, Cloud never even spoke about this to the people he'd known back home. Nor did he want to. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he shrugs it off, standing to walk towards the pile on the floor. Carefully picking up one of the larger pieces that had broken off the jamb, he twists in his hand.]
You sure did a number on this door. I'm sure it would've scared anyone who might've tried breaking in.
[His tone is lighter this time around, only just looking at Zack from the edge of his periphery.]
1/2
Yeah, well, who locks their door, anyway!? There's only the two of us here! [ And he's only come in Cloud's room unannounced once... maybe twice since something here!? NOT LIKE IT WAS ON PURPOSE
He's trying to defend himself, feeling the redness in his face deepen, and tucks his hands to either side of his hips as he begins to pace. ]
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I'm sorry, I just— [ as quickly as the embarrassment takes over does it begin to dissipate, his body deflating with a slump of his shoulders. Zack turns his gaze to the ground, brows furrowing.
He was protecting Cloud all this time- from Shinra, from the elements... perhaps it was just instincts (literally) kicking in ]
—if something had happened [ to you ], I—
[ Another pause. His gaze burning holes into the ground. ]
Forget it. You shouldn't be up just yet. Lemme take care of it, and I'll bring you some water, too.
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[It's not that he doesn't appreciate that Zack came to check up on him but it's hard not to admit that this was over-the-top. He's not even sure how to express his gratefulness all things considered.
But then curiosity gets the better of him and the words spill out before he is able to stop himself.]
Are you always like this to everyone you know? Rushing to their aid, no matter what stands in your way.
[There's no disdain in his voice. Cloud's expression is soft, his brows slightly raised as he posed the question.]
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The words leave his lips as easily as his breath: ] 'Course. I have to protect my honor as SOLDIER.
[ ... Not that he could even really say he was a SOLDIER anymore, but the phrase could never quite leave him. Not after the weight it carried with it. And although his circumstances with Cloud were a different, there was very little change in how he acted from one person to another.
He'll stand to his full height then, shoulders back and a soft smile on his face before giving Cloud a small nod while finally moving in the direction towards the door. He'll go to retrieve the second cup of water then, leaving Cloud momentarily with his thoughts before he returns and hands it over. Zack will even try to coax him a bit to sit back down, nudging him slightly with his elbow. ]
... Think most of the cleanup could wait until morning?
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[In the few moments he's left on his own, he can't help but think about how the title had lost so much meaning to him. Cloud poured out blood, sweat, and tears to earn that rank but he's had to cast it aside inspite of that. After Nibelheim, he had to, for his own sanity.
He barely hears Zack return, only looking up at him when he nudges his elbow, a glass of water in hand. Cloud manages a nod of acknowledgement.]
Yeah. Besides the glass, the rest can wait.
[It takes him another moment before he does follow Zack's suggestion to sit. Despite his earlier answer, Cloud still found himself unsatisfied by it. The other man's actions were curious to say the least and he still felt the need to say something.]
I'm not fragile, you know. I was SOLDIER too.
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But it does look a little awkward at first, given Zack's rather large stature handling the small hand broom and dust pan to get up the rest of the smaller pieces.
He doesn't even meet Cloud's gaze when he mentions being in SOLIDER, and despite his almost all-to-eager need to contribute in conversation... he remained silent.
After all he had been through tonight... it just didn't feel right to say anything. ]
Hey, everyone needs a hand from time to time... or a foot. [ He grimaces will turning to face the door again. ]
A SOLDIER's best quality is knowing your limits, and not being afraid to ask for help. [ A brief pause before he finally turns to meet Cloud's gaze. ]
... We're all in this together, right?
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He can almost hear the grimace in Zack's voice at the mention of the door, but before he can comment on it, his eyes come in contact with Zack's.
While he couldn't disagree, asking for help wasn't something Cloud was good at. Even when it seemed like it was something as simple as this. Simple, he thinks, and he almost scoffs at himself. What a joke. Everything involving Nibelheim was anything but simple.]
I wouldn't even know what to ask. [Bringing one leg up to the bed, he props his elbow against his bent knee.] It's not like you can predict dreams, right?
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Predict dreams... ugh, this conversation was really difficult to dance around. He could feel his defenses drop the more and more he talked to Cloud, and especially now with how close and real everything was becoming, Zack could only feel the pain in his chest grow stronger around his heart.
He could feel Cloud becoming more suspicious... maybe he'd have to distance himself a little? Or maybe—
A slip of his finger causes one of the shards of glass to scratch against his skin, and the SOLIDER hissed in surprised at the momentarily and sudden strike of pain he felt. ] Ouch! Ugh, alright, that's enough excitement for the both of us tonight...
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Doesn't look too bad. Hang on a second.
[Cloud had a few of his materia on him when he had arrived. Moving to his bedside table, he opens the drawer to reveal a green and red one sitting side by side. Taking the green one with him, he makes his way back over to Zack.
Without much warning, Cloud takes his roommate's hand in his, focusing on it and the healing materia. A light glow emanates from the orb, and the cut in Zack's hand begins to stitch itself closed. It might've been overkill but Cloud couldn't help but feel that maybe he was being too hard on Zack. He was trying to help him out after all, even if it was just a dream. This just so happened to be his way of saying thanks.]
How's that for funky magic?
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